RE DISCOVERY

a river of tears rush out...

So, it's already going on... at least in her mind. I can tell.. I know her too well. She's gaga for this woman. She says she hasn't had sex with her yet, but I'm not sure. Maybe some "heavy petting?" She deserves it... anyone who has wanted a lesbian relationship for two years should be happy to finally be heading toward that pleasure.

As for me? I dunno. I want her to be happy. I love her. She's said that she wants to grow old with me. I hope so, but I am so scared that I'll end up with a marriage that's hollowed out in the intimacy department. For now anyway, we still have sex.

I can't help but wonder what our sex will be like when she's fully involved with a woman. My fear is that she'll either not want to be with me, or do it out of obligation. I guess I need to be pro-active and give her the best hetero-sex I can - even though I feel like pulling back right now.

And, I'd move heaven and earth to have her back with me: body, mind, spirit - all to myself. It hurts.

so... whatya think?

posted by matt @ 10:48 AM