RE DISCOVERY

three hours later

I had a long, 3 hr talk with V the other night.
She told me how she is really enamored by
this new friend.  She told me how much they
have in common and how they talk for hours.

I told her about some things I needed to tell her.
She's a little more open about that now because
she's into someone else... that's good.

I told her how it was hard to see that look in
her eyes.  I told her how it's not that much different
for her to have a woman lover than for me to have
another one.  I told her how I don't plan to
leave her, but will need to make sure that I'm happy too. 
I told her how I've felt like I'm in a
defined, old, traditional relationship while
she redefines it for herself.

None of this was said in an angry tone at all. 
And I think it went well.  She asked later if I
had told someone about her coming out.  I fessed
up to one person and should probably fess to
another.  Especially since the other is a woman,
V knows her and actually said if I had a deep
relationship with this person she'd be okay with
it.  (I wonder though...)

I also - at the end of the night - confronted
her about the bulimia situation.  I don't think it's
been going on long - or that regularly.  We
talked about how it's obviously because she feels
like she has no control over her life - and it's
apparently not about the weight so much (but I
wonder).  Anyway, I'm going to keep tabs on her
and she knows it.  I hope she views that as
my love for her, and not a squelching.

So, bottom line is that
I love V,
I love my daughter,
I love my online friends (one in particular
checked up on me yesterday)

and I think that *I* just might be okay.

I hope so.   Now, back to work.

M.

posted by matt @ 7:53 AM