that's what I thought... or, weighing the pros and cons
Just to update from the last time: I discovered that V did want to have sex with her friend she visited not long go. Apparently, the feelings were not mutual. And, I think V didn't take it well at all (and let her know in front of her) and the relationship has since ended.So, on to the next one. Although... there appears to be nothing on the horizon right now for her. Or, there is... and I don't know about it. V does work for a gay woman now. She also has made a new friend who admitted she's had threesomes with three women. So, the "network" is still alive.
This summer we are taking some vacation time separately. I'll have a weekend or two by myself and will be leaving the country for a week. I will also probably attend a conference in Chicago by myself (more for financial reasons), and V will be travelling to a cycling event by herself with her team (again because of money.)
It is easy to become complacent when looking at our home life. Nice house, comfortable - especially if we're just there by ourselves. We need more room: there's no personal space. Sure, we get along together - especially during 'family' events. I don't think either of us long to be with each other.
Pros and cons:
Pros: for me, freedom to see who I want and perhaps get into a relationship that gives me more of what I need.
Cons: If V goes off the deep end, it could be a messy split. If I do it before V's career is on track, I give her most of what little I have. Most importantly, it could be very hard on our daughter. Despite how close she and I are, she'd probably side with her mother. Heartbreaking. And, finally, I'd miss our home, our life we've built together.
All in all, it's just not bad enough to leave... YET.
make sense??
posted by matt @ 10:28 AM
3 Comments:
It's a weird dynamic, but you don't have easy choices. I've watched your blog for several months now, partly because the heroine of my novel is bisexual, and the complications from her playing the field are numerous. But your story is quite fascinating and sad at the same time. Good luck with your choices.
(trying to make a joke)... Well now, if I walk away, then there's nothing for the blog, eh?
Seriously, you're all correct I think. And, I guess there will be a breaking point somewhere down the line. Sometimes I get very close to that point.
i think it's never a question of whether it is bad enough to LEAVE, but whether or not you BOTH have the desire to negotiate your relationship to make it work. if you don't 'work the relationship', it doesn't matter if you are fighting or if your are just plain bored; the relationship is doomed.
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