Monday, May 09, 2005

flip flop flip flop flip flop

So much flipping and flopping, it makes me think I should just mark down each day as a "flip" or a "flop", tally it up at the end of the week and make a decision then...

so, the latest notes:
The woman at work.  God, a "one sided" friendship if I
ever saw one.  I think she just really wanted a "little
friend" to hold her hand while she gets used to her new side job.
She said she was "telling me EVERYTHING in her life"
so naturally I felt honored.  But... I think she's
revealing more of her personal life to many more
people other than me.  Anyway, I think I'm being used
a bit or perhaps I've gotten the wrong idea.
I'm just kind of over all that.

Online friend F.  Well, she's back w/her husband but says
she's not feeling "the love."  (I understand that feeling,
believe me.)  She says it's hard to reconnect after
pulling the plug emotionally -
especially after she's been thinking about pulling
the plug for so long.   I think it's like finally
deciding to jump off a burning ship into the ocean
because you don't think you have a choice - and then
after you jump you're told... hey, wait!
The ship's not on fire!!  WTF!

Now V.  (sigh..)  We had a good talk over the weekend.
I told her the 10 things I can't forget
about (earlier blog post) and she responded by saying
how she loves me, doesn't want to have a life without
me, and that she wants to try all week this week to
reconnect.  She says she didn't realize before how much I
was hurting, but now sees it clear as day.  She wants to
grow old together.

She's also saying she's put women "behind
her" now... (this after I mentioned how "I don't want a
relationship with a woman RIGHT NOW" doesn't suggest
it's behind her).  Anyway, she wants to reconnect.

Now today, she is very very depressed about our
finances and how she cannot go back to school.  She
said today if it wasn't for our daughter, she'd drive
off a cliff.  Just talked to her now... she's still
very upset.  So, I don't know what the hell to think
or do most of the time.  When I think that I have
gotten it figured out, the situation changes...
:|

posted by matt @ 11:02 AM

1 Comments:

At June 11, 2005 9:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Instead of whining and moaning about your finances, you'd think V would get a job. Even a fastfood job on the night shift could put a little money aside to save for school.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home