RE DISCOVERY

two things occur to me...

The first is that V is setting new parameters for me. When she first started exploring (which, I admit, I DID encourage her to do,) she set parameters for me to abide by. Mainly that I had to sit home and carry on as usual while she figured things out. No new female friends, relationships, etc. In all, the parameters were unequal and unfair, but more importantly, I was unhappy with them. So, it took several weeks or maybe months for me to finally decide that she wasn't going to do that to me. I then told her a few weeks ago that I wasn't going to live within those parameters.

So, now she's changed the plan. Last week she said that she's not pursuing any other relationship - therefore I shouldn't either. It occured to me last night during a long bike ride that these are the new parameters. Well, goddammit - I'm not going to be boxed in again. I can't carry on my life, my friends, my relationships based on the level of her openness. I just won't do that, especially because one particular female friend seems to need me (yes, it seems a bit of a 'one-sided' friendship but that's okay.) And, I won't cut off the friend or apologize to V. for being with her.

Number two: It occurs to me that every female in my life is in the middle of a crisis! (This is all the females that I see in person on a regular basis.) LOL! (crazy laugh) Oh my.

so... whatya think?

posted by matt @ 6:34 AM