RE DISCOVERY

oh, you don't know me

I'm reading an article online called, "Can you ever really know someone?" (don't ask how I ended up there..) and it occurs to me that I don't really know V anymore. Nor, perhaps, does she know me.

Take this scenario: I came back from my business trip, and had bought V. a couple little things: some all natural facial soap and a little tiny soveneir from NY. Now, normally, this would fine as V has never been crazy about buying things for the sake of buying things when I'm out of town. And, we are rather tight in the pocketbook right now. So - that's what I brought home.

But this time, she was disappointed. "Why didn't you bring home something romantic?" she asked. She admitted that I knew her so well that the gifts I brought home would have been the things she would have picked out if she had done it herself. Still, she took it as a sign that I was disconnected from her.

And, she's right. In fact, I had disconnected from her before I left on the trip. Then, making a connection with this facinating person while I was gone. V says she could tell that I had made a connection once I returned. (how is this possible??)

Anyway, a couple things stick in my head from my talk with V. the other night: One, was the fact that V. wouldn't say she was done with women (indicating to me that this is just a lull in the storm) and the other is how she told me she "cut off" our sex life last summer after we were getting all hot and heavy when she came out to me. She thought I was just interested in sex because the idea of her with a woman turned me on... and that's it. So, (as in other times in our marriage when we had good sex) she turned it off. That really, really disappoints and saddens me.

The article above mentions how you need to "want" to really get to know your spouse. I wonder if either of us want that. Do we really WANT to know each other?

hmmm...

posted by matt @ 6:25 AM