RE DISCOVERY

signs for the paranoid

Several weeks ago, I was putting my belt away in my closet. On the shelf above is a white plastic bag with lettering on it. Inside the bag is a box and in the box is a really, really nice vibrator. I got for V and I to play with, obviously, and we have!

Funny thing is that awhile back, during what I would consider a dry spell in the intimacy dept, I thought that the bag's placement had changed. "That's weird," I thought to myself and decided to keep an eye on the bag's placement and the amount of lettering that is shown.

Fast forward to a few weeks later: The bag has moved many times, and while we have been intimate occasionally, I am starting to put together a couple things - like promises of being with me "tomorrow" and then showing no interest "tommorrow" and coincidentally - the bag is moved!

I don't think I'm spying... it started out innocently enough when I just started to notice. But honestly, I don't want to say anything to V, because it is somewhat a gauge for me as to whether or not she's interested in me anymore.

And, she knows (because I told her) that I pretty much have some sort of sexual activity every day. So, there's no secrets there.

V. did tell me once that she spent some time alone with her toy. Once. Which is fine, actually. I mean, hey, variety is the spice of life, you know?? I don't have a problem with that... what's a little disturbing though is the notion that her regular libido (which is about 1/5th of mine) is spent by herself. I have been trying to get her attention lately, and pay more attention to her, compliment her and such... she's happy about it, I think, but non responsive.

I guess the tides are changing.

It occurs to me today that I am in an online romance with this wonderful girl I "met" a few weeks ago. I am tremendously infatuated with her... it is so fun to email all the time and talk on the phone occasionally. But, I'm getting to the point where I want to meet her in person. Then what will happen? Will at least one of us want to move our relationship further or will it deflate what we already have? Sometimes I think I'm sending her mixed signals but, then again, she does know my home situation. And, I know hers. Really, the best thing to do is take our time and relax.

So... What will happen? Will V give me sex? Will my new online friend become my lover? Can I have both? Will I get both? Will I have none?

tune in later to find out!
m.

posted by matt @ 11:52 AM