RE DISCOVERY

thinking of poly

I am reminded of a word I heard V say - "polymonogamous." Simply put, it's being monogamous with one person of each gender. While I applaud the meaning of commitment that definition implies, I can't help but think that it's also a convenient excuse to justify the "it's different for a married woman to have a secondary relationship with another woman as opposed to a married man having a secondary relationship with another woman" arguement.

I DO believe you can love more than one person. Frankly, I do. First of all, I love the company of my women friends. Some of them are deeper friends than others, but I do enjoy them all. Some of them I care for pretty deeply. So then it just comes down to how intimate and deep the friendship is, right?? And, perhaps more importantly, whether or not there is any physical intimacy?

I have a very, very select few male friends - no physical intimacy there... but a couple of very good friendships!!

I am so curious to try polymory. V says she can do it. Why doesn't she think I can?

Perhaps it's all about taking care of your primary partner. And, both of us getting over our insecurities. I read an interesting comment on a newsgroup the other day. It said you should just go to your partner and say, "I want to have sex with x, how do I make this work for you?? (and I don't want the answer to be, 'don't have sex with x!") . The point is communication and understanding and freedom and love. And no jealousy or fear.

Speaking of which, a check of my mood ring says I'm calm today...

so... whatya think?

posted by matt @ 6:02 AM