RE DISCOVERY

off the deep end and blames me

It's been hard the last 24 hours. V is terribly upset and depressed. She wants to go back to school but we can't afford it yet. She will get a job, but without a degree has to work in some crappy place. (Of course, all the jobs she's had have been crappy in her eyes... except maybe one particular one a year or two ago.)

Now, she can add to her misery that "I told her the other day that I didn't want her anymore." Which is NOT what I said. But, it might as well have been. "I have nothing in my life," she says. "I'm a terrible mother because my child yells at me." When I try to give her options, they are no good. "I've already thought of that and here's why it won't work. I'm not stupid!" So, I don't say anything. That's not right either. "You just blow off my problems. You don't say anything."

I don't know what to say. I DO THINK it's mostly her responsibility to figure out SOMETHING to make her happy.

She asked me if I could handle taking care of our daughter by myself. "Yes." I told her. Once V came up with this plan that she would go back to our hometown and work at a job she liked several years ago. Then, she could work on going back to school.

I almost wish she'd go do that. I'll take care of our child. Go do that. Go do it!

:(

posted by matt @ 8:08 AM